Potty Pommies

Stories From Home

Toad or Choad?

Although I enjoy living alone and following a healthy eating regime, I do occasionally miss cooking and consuming a traditional family dinner. So when these memories of gravy-drenched meals are triggered, more often than not I'll treat myself to a childhood favourite, Toad in the Hole.

For those who are unaware of this English inspired dish, the description is as follows: sausages surrounded by Yorkshire pudding batter. Quick and simple, yet incredibly delicious.

On one of these occasions, to save waste I converted a family sized recipe into a single serve. The outcome was not the best. I'm still unsure about what metamorphosis occurred within the depths of the oven that day, but what came out looked more phallic than palatable. Nom nom nom, not..


Being an exceptionally clean person, both individually and in my home environment, much of my washing consists of cleaning cloths and towels.

On one occasion I placed my favourite plastic mesh body buf-puf in with the laundry load, but my memory hadn't reminded me to remove the non-heat-resistant item prior to tumble drying. On the hot cycle.

A benefit to having 'Face Pareidolia' is that I see faces in most things. So when a shrivelled version of my once-fluffy shower aid rolled out from among the still-warm towels, I instantly recognised Mr Snuffleupagus from the kids' show 'Sesame Street'! The glasses finished it off nicely..

You Live Where..!?

With our unique sense of humour, quirky habits and the ability to consume copious amounts of tea and alcohol, there's no wonder that Pommies have earned the reputation of being somewhat eccentric. This trait is hard to dispute when consulting a map of England and discovering place names such as Fingringhoe, Wetwang, Spunkie, Wideopen, Loosebottom, Plwmp and Titty Ho ??

But our weirdness doesn't stop there. The following are real UK street signs..

Butt Hole Road - Conisbrough, South Yorkshire
Horny Old Road - Malvern, Worcestershire
Spanker Lane - Nether Heage, Derbyshire
Beaver Close - Horsham, West Sussex
Cockshutt Lane - Sheffield
Swallow Passage - London
Cumming Street - London
Hardon Road - Wolverhampton, West Midlands
Slack Bottom Road - Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire
Crotch Crescent - Oxford, Oxfordshire
There and Back Again - Brandon, Bristol

*My choice of address would be - 69, Slack Bottom Road *


Jane Helen Croft


Amateur Archaeology

In January 1972 the 'Treasures of Tutankhamun' exhibition arrived at the British Museum in London..   [read]

Confessions of an Adult Toy Rep..

Did you know I used to sell sex toys for a living..? Check out Part I of my experiences..   [read]

Confessions of an Adult Toy Rep, Part II

Mechanical problems lead to a compromising situation..  [read]

Potty Pommies

PP01: Stories and anecdotes from a former Prisoner of Mother England..  [read]

Crop Circles

I'm interested in crop circles. In fact I'm very very very very interested indeed..   [link..]

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