Confessions.

Of an Adult Toy Rep

Confessions of an Adult Toy Rep

2. That Warm Glow

During my time as an adult toy rep I found few hazards associated with The Career. This was mainly due to the whole party plan experience being based on having fun, with no place for unpleasantness. However there was one small downside which many might not consider, namely the transportation of approximately one hundred pleasure-enhancing products. Batteries included.

With four successful parties under my belt for the weekend and an almost full diary, I felt almost euphoric as I drove away from my final appointment of the week. That was until a rather worrying knocking noise began emanating from the engine bay. Although my knowledge of mechanics is somewhat limited, with the metallic din escalating and the temperature gauge rising, I soon realised my car wouldn't make it home and swiftly pulled over to the side of the road.

Back then mobile phones were not as dependable as they are now. The reception was either brilliant or nonexistent, there was no in-between. It wasn't an unfamiliar sight to see normal, everyday people, desperately contorting themselves into some very awkward positions, just to get a response from their devices. The latter scenario was where I found myself that evening with a fully-charged phone with absolutely no signal. I was left with only one option, to flag down a passing motorist.

As the evening light quickly transformed into darkness, I started rummaging through my car's interior looking for something reflective - anything that would assist my plight. My search was proving fruitless. But as I racked my brain for another possible solution, my eyes were drawn towards the back seat. In particular to the large plastic container in which my adult toy demonstration kit was stored.

As I stood by my inoperative vehicle with a 12-inch penis-shaped flashlight in one hand and a string of glow-in-the-dark anal beads in the other, I couldn't understand why my efforts weren't having the desired effect; no-one would stop. Some drivers slowed down as they approached me but soon sped off when they got a closer look. Undeterred I continued with my roadside vigil and waited for help to arrive. And eventually, it did. Unfortunately for me it was in the form of the local police.

Apparently a concerned citizen had reported seeing a deranged woman on the roadside, waving obscene objects at members of the public. No worries on my part, the police saw the funny side. I wasn't arrested and at least I got a free ride home.

 

Jane Helen Croft

 


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